long time..

its been awhile since i last used this account or even logged on..

so much to say, but so little time in which to say them because i have about 3 other people standing behind me waiting for their turn at using the computer so yea.. im at butler o'club right now using one of those free comps.

i'll just update this later.

.sixteen.

im not sure on whose going to read this.. or for the fact who still uses xanga but yea..

They say that when you turn sixteen, its one of the greatest moments in your life. You have two more years left of high school, everything around you is different, you start too feel older and all. The food that you eat tastes better, the light outside is brighter, the things you smell, smell a whole lot better.. you get taller and more.. Well no offense, but save that bs or burning sensation or bull shit for someone else.. when i hear that, it feels like im dead or dying.. n who ever said that was probably high or something at the time.

In my short sixteen years at life i've experienced many things.. both good and bad.. from experiencing my first kiss to almost dying more than once. Through all of that though, i've learned that my family along with my friends will always be there for me no matter what. Not everyone though are close to their parents as i am.. like the first time when i got in real big trouble.. my parents didn't yell at me all that much at first.. they actually talked to me about it and then yelled at me.. xP but foreal i thank god for having them. For my friends, each and every one of them are like my brothers and sisters.. we all might not get a long at times, but we all still love each other.. even if one of them are in another group, barkada, click, krew, or what ever.. theres a lotta i gotta say about it but yea.. i'll write more about that later.. 

When i got home disafternoon.. the first thing i did was go up stairs to my room and slept. After i slept and all i just layed down in my bed thinking about so many things. Especially about this one girl but uhhmm yea.. thats another blog.. anyway, i thought about my life.. and recapped on some of the things i look back on now.. because life is too short and some things i take for granted.. even some people.. which is sad i know.. no lie but, theres a lot to say so just wait n il write one up later..

Shiet.. its my birthday today and all right.. well, there was this one person (ima not name names but.. fuck..) they really pissed me off.. they knew that its my day today.. and still they had the nerve to say something to me. This person right, they think of them selves as being number one.. they don't give a shit about anyone else other than themselves.. and at times they're always incoboardinant (i can't spell).. always curse in too and no matter how bad the punishment is.. the person is just like psssht w/e.. but thats not what got me today.. what got me was that, this person was all talking about me and shiet.. kinda saying like what kind of a person i am.. and comparing themselves to me.. when this person doesn't even know shit about me.. the worse thing too now is that this person heard summin about my illnesses in the past and are exploitin on it.. -__-

For those of you that know me pretty good.. you should know that i've been sick for awhile.. though i look hella sexy i know.. xP im just sick.. heart-wise..

For the person that was talking shit about me today, this is for you. Even if you're younger than me.. and we both are honor students, can speak different languages, are multi-cultural, talented with a lot of things, have a lotta ambition in life, are good at sports, and probably can compare to each other more.. there is one thing that you can never compare with me.. and thats my life. you don't know how my life's been.. how hard i've had to work to get at where i am today.. especialli my health.. tell me, have you ever had doctors or you're closests family members tell you that you may not live to see the age of 30? do you know how that feels? im sixteen right now.. and with what they're saying i may only have 14 years to go.. if i dont stop what im doing now.. or what about being in a hospital in a 3rd world country.. having your mom, cousin, and 4 nurses rushing to take out an air bubble in your IV tube to save your life.. because another 3 inches and you would've been dead.. while their doing that you're lying on what you think is your death bed.. crying your eyes out, beggin to god to take your life now, because you don't wanna endure anymore of the pain. or even what about almost drowing at open sea eh? do you know how scary it is when you're being pulled away from the coast out to the deep ocean.. where there are sharks n shiet.. do you fucking know how it feels to have to swim almost 2 miles just to save your self.. i doubt it.. so the next time you decide to talk shit about me.. think twice dumbass..

mood today:

HIGHLIGHTS OF 2005 (pt.1):

(Which ever though comes to mind)

• I left Yokosuka, Japan on May 20, 2005 and went to Philippines.. I came back though on June 27, 2005 and moved here to Okinawa..
• The "Love of my Life" back then.. ended our 8 month 26 day relationship.. We went long distance for close to about 7 months and she probably just couldn't take it no more. A friend told me though that she planed to do it, she just didnt know when. She cried on the phone asking what to do and that she loved me very much, but just could not take it anymore..
• I got hospitalized in the Philippines for some stomach sickness.. I forgot how to spell it and all but yea, thats one memory I'll never forget. I stayed in that hospital for 4 and a half days.. it was sad.. just go back and look at my blog for June 21, 2005.
• When I left yoko.. I can remember at the PSD everyone came to say good bye.. i only expected about 4 people to come.. but instead everyone came. So much people came that they filled up the whole outside of the PSD. As I was getting on the bus I could also remember hearing Rick and John O'Brien singing.. "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, GOODBYE.." That right there was like wow.. words cant even describe what went through me.
• When I was back in YMS (yokosuka middle school) I can remember going to that Brain Bowl competion at the Aoba er something like that.. it was an international school so yea.. Anyway, I can remember during the break time we had.. We played football and then this one kid comes up and hits me, pulling my necklace off.. When I looked back at my necklace the pendant was gone.. Then i looked back at the kid and I beat his ass down for it. When we got back to school, later on Mr. Weight found out what had happen. By this time he was like whoa.. He told me that I could’ve started some international fight with like whatever.. it was pretty funny though..
• Making the transition from middle to high school. High school is something way different. I wanted to go to high school in yokosuka but then yea, I moved here to Okinawa..
• Joining MCJROTC.. its so different now from when I first though about it.
• Making new friends in a place where there are not much Filipino people unless your looking.. (not like back in yokosuka.. damn.. there were a lot.. the whole base was like practically Filipino). Its not that easy leaving the ones you love behind. Especially now that all of us are in high school and thinking about other stuff.. then the plans we made before..
• Going through an experience that one of my friends faced and dealt with. This experience or problem is still going on now. For those of you who really know me, I would NEVER cheat on any girl right? Well here in Okinawa a certain someone thinks otherwise. This person is saying that I’ve used her just to get closer to her best friend. That’s not true and if you really know me, you know that I’m not like that. Well anyway this BS is still going on about me and you know what, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE!

·        I’ve met another someone. This girl is not like any other. She’s not only smart but, she’s beautiful and talented as well. This girl, she showed me that no matter what she’ll still love me for who I am. She’s been with me through the whole “problem” that the other girl has been giving me. Her name, Jessa and I love her a lot. Our monthsary (lol. Karen…) is like on the 3^rd so yea.. I don’t know what I’m going to do.. lol j/m.. You guys know that I always get my girlfriend a ‘lil something to show that I care.

·        Meeting all these new people on Okinawa. Its been cool knowing all of you. I’m gonna miss each of you when you have to leave.. which is like GAY because I just moved here.

·         Getting arrested on Christmas Eve. That I’ll never forget.

·         My first and last Christmas with Jessa.. even though I wasn’t actually with her.

·        MCJROTC BALL- that was cool. We celebrated the Marine Corps Birthday and still had fun. I got pictures posted on my myspace so yea, just take a look.. We all danced the night away, and like for once I actually saw Jose or SgtMaj. dance.. lol

·        The time when I moved here. Damn it was so frekin hot when I stepped outside of the airport doors. It was like my trip to Philippines all over again but this time it was just so humid. So humid that not even one minute everything you touch is sticky. I could remember driving from Naha to Foster. The first I went to was the uniform shop on Camp Foster. It was okay I guess. Then after the first place I slept in.. er like base I “lived” in was Camp Hansen. Later on I moved here to Camp Mctureous when I’m really suppose to be living in Camp Kinser.

·        When I stepped outside of my house here in Mct. I took an egg and I was just wondering how hot it really was, so what I did was I took the egg.. cracked it on the side walk.. and within minutes it started to sizzle.. not burn but sizzle..

this year for christmas all i want is..

- for THE FAMILY to stay together no matter how far apart we are from one another.

- for someone to stop hating and move on. i all want from this person is for them so accept my apology. just get over what happen. the past is the past.

- a christmas that i'll never forget. one that i'll cherish years upon years.

- a christmas that i can actually spend with my friends and family

- for my girlfriend to not forget me.. nor the times that we shared with each other..

- for ALL of my family to get what they wished for..

- money

- for *cough* the guy(s) out there that like a special someone, to have the courage to ask her out..

- for all the girls out there that like that special someone too, i hope that they'll actually ask..

- to live my life to the fullest and when i enter those pearly gates.. to be proud of what i've done with my life.

- to live to see 100

- for [n.a.j.e.] to last forever.. 

- for my friends, that they get what they want.

- for my friends, that when i die they wont forget me by name, but by what they've seen me accomplished in my life..

- for my friends that they know.. that if it weren't for most of them, i wouldn't be alive today..

- for the people i left in yokosuka.. that they know i miss them a lot..

- for the people in okinawa.. that they got what they wished for.. and that they know that im here..? (i didnt know what else to say)

- someway to end this blog..

whoa.. its like been a really long ass time since i last blogged.. well since the last time i've blogged a lot has happen.. like for thing i gots girlfriend now and yea.. thing right now are like okae i guess but im thinkin that summin is gonna happen sooner or later.. and what im thinkin isnt good.. so yea.. im not sure why im even really bloggin on this.. i guess im just using this right now cuz im tryin to fight my emotions.. i cant let my emotions control my life.. its just not the way it goes.. another reason i guess im bloggin on this is because i have no one to turn too.. im so alone in this place.. and im so confused in this thing that we all call life.. life for me right now isnt going the way i want to.. i dont even think that anyone is gonna read this anyway..